Tegelikult oli see natuke valus, kui kardioloog selle umbes 20-minutilise uuringu ajal korduvalt ultraheliandurit mulle ribide vahele surus ja ikka sama küsimust küsis. “Kas sa nüüd tunned?” “Ei, ei tunne,” vastasin talle igal korral.

Korra muidugi tekkis see juba tuttav tunne, et süda tahab kurgust välja hüpata ja pigem seal mao piirkonnas on misiganes ravi kõrvalnähuna ebamugav tunne. See oli esimesel korral, kohe pärast lamaskile viskamist ja ultraheli algust, kui arst sisuliselt pooljahmunud häälel küsis: “Kuule, kas sa saad aru, et sul on praegu arütmia?”

“Mis? Ah? Kus?” jõudsin segadusse viiduna küsida. Pakkusin, et äkki oli see seotud hommikul saadud viimase immunoteraapiaga. Tutkit!

Kui ta vaatas mu 24 tunni Holteri vastuseid, siis seisis seal kaks olulist numbrit – 108 893 ja 14 868. See viimane, 14 868 tähistab arütmiate arvu, mis mul 24 tunni jooksul oli. Ligi 14 protsendine arütmiakoormus. See tulemus ei olnud kardioloogile pärast ultraheliga jändamist üllatav, aga pani ta muretsema küll.

Mulle endale tundub see ka kuidagi võikalt suur number. Aga ega ma ei oska seda iseenese tarkusega millegagi võrrelda ka. Uuringust suutsin ma ise välja lugeda sellise asja, et kokku oli südamelööke 108 893, nendest normaalseid lööke 94 014 (86%) ja vatsakeste ekstrasüstoleid (PVC) 14 868 (14%).

Kuna kordamine on tarkuse ema, siis ütlen veel üle, et see tähendab, et umbes iga seitsmes südamelöök oli vatsakeste lisalöök.

Kokku on selles 14 leheküljelises raportis hulga huvitavat materjali ja graafikuid mulle lugemiseks ja arusaamiseks, millega ma saan end nüüd siin lähipäevil lõbustada.

Kolme kuu pärast tulevad kordusuuringud. Seni pean hommikul ja õhtul võtma südamerohtu, õhtul kolesteroolirohtu ja unerohtusid, hommikul veel antidepressanti ja praegu mõne aja veel ka vedelikuväljutajat, kortikosteroide ja igast muud värki veel lisaks.

Aga, mis on kõige olulisem. Minu ravi on nüüdseks läbi. Ei ühtegi keemia- ega immunoteraapiat enam. Saan astuda järgmise sammu tervenemise ja tervena püsimise poole. Hurraa!

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It actually hurt a little when, during the roughly 20-minute examination, the cardiologist kept pressing the ultrasound probe deep between my ribs and asking the same question over and over again. “Do you feel it now?” “No, I don’t,” I answered every single time.

Well… there was one moment when I felt that now familiar sensation of my heart trying to leap out through my throat, along with that strange discomfort somewhere around my stomach — another delightful side effect of treatment, I suppose. It happened right at the beginning, just after I lay down and the ultrasound started, when the doctor suddenly looked up, sounding genuinely startled. “Wait… do you realize you’re having an arrhythmia right now?”

“What? Huh? Where?” I asked, completely confused. I suggested it might have something to do with the immunotherapy infusion I’d received earlier that morning. Nope.

When she looked at the results of my 24-hour Holter monitor, two numbers stood out: 108,893 and 14,868.The second number 14,868 was the number of heart rhythm disturbances I had experienced in just 24 hours. That translates into an arrhythmia burden of almost 14%.

After struggling to get clear ultrasound images, the result itself didn’t surprise the cardiologist, but it certainly worried her. To me, that number also feels disturbingly high. Then again, I don’t really have anything to compare it to.

From the report, I managed to understand at least this much: during those 24 hours my heart beat 108,893 times. Of those, 94,014 beats (86%) were normal, while 14,868 (14%) were premature ventricular contractions (PVCs).

And because repetition is the mother of learning, let me say it again: roughly every seventh heartbeat was a premature ventricular contraction.

The full report is fourteen pages long and packed with fascinating graphs, charts and medical jargon, so I now have plenty of bedtime reading to keep me entertained over the next few days.

In three months, I’ll have another round of cardiac tests. Until then, my daily routine includes heart medication morning and evening, cholesterol medication at night, sleeping pills, an antidepressant in the morning, and for a little while longer, diuretics, corticosteroids and a handful of other medications.

But here’s the part that matters most. My cancer treatment is finally over. No more chemotherapy. No more immunotherapy. Now I get to take the next step, not just toward recovery, but toward staying healthy. Hooray!